I like what you said, Nicole: “Eventually she will have to face reality when her parents go.”

John suggests just giving some money. But I guess it’s not so much the money that’s the issue. I could give her $25 or $50 or whatever. No big deal. It’s not about the money.

The issue is really about her attitude. A gift is supposed to be voluntary. If a gift is demanded, it’s no longer a gift. The recipient’s demand becomes a mild form of extortion.

So in this case, my relative’s improper attitude accompanied by her complete disrespect of money and how it is earned has made me feel like “opting out” of this little charade.

Are you close to her? Do you see her a lot at family gatherings?

If I had nerve I would send her some book like Napoleon Hills “Think and Grow Rich” or something a long those lines.

But I am a woman and I would feel guilty so I probably would just send her a card with the lowest denomination that seemed respectable–then my husband said I would still feel guilty.

Obviously she doesn’t know the cost of raising three children these days;)

I think I’d just take it simply, just accept the way she is. 24 hour job fixing ourselves.

If this was really her grad party (which it sort of is) and she was responsible with her money, what would you do?

I’d just do that.

Granted, I hate parties. Especially family gatherings. If it was me, I’d just send a card, with a $25 inside. :-)

If you’re in debt yourself, maybe just a card. :-/.

Rete – I like the idea of giving The Richest Man in Babylon. It’s a good book; I’ve read it twice. But the big question is, would she even bother to read it?