Is Bad News Better Than Good News?
By Ryan Healy | July 22, 2008
It’s interesting.
Whenever I announce bad news I seem to get more response than when I announce good news.
So if I say I’ve gone deeper into debt — or had some unexpected expenses — people respond with sympathy and encouragement.
But when I say I’ve paid down my debt by a thousand or two, there is a noticeable silence.
I mention this because I’ve noticed this pattern not only on my blog, but on other financial blogs as well.
It seems the choir of misery chimes in whenever there’s darkness on the horizon.
But when the sky is bright and shining, the choir goes mute.
I have a theory about this…
Anybody who is in debt already feels a bit of shame and regret for getting in debt in the first place.
And it’s encouraging for an in-debt person to see other people screw up… because… it makes that person feel better, even if he or she is not currently doing anything to get out of debt.
I know it sounds sick, but I think there’s truth in it.
It’s like a fat person chuckling at another fat person and thinking, “Well, at least I’m not as fat as her!”
Of course, there’s an inverse relationship here as well.
When somebody is making more progress than you are, it can be difficult to offer authentic praise because you might be feeling a twinge of envy. YOU should be getting ahead, not that OTHER person!
Said another way: It’s hard to feel good about the success of others when you’re still failing.
Wouldn’t you agree?
Have I hit the nail on the head — or totally missed the mark?
Leave a comment below and let me know.
- My post “Why I Like Fixed-Rate Loans” was featured in the Carnival of Debt Reduction #149: The Secret to Life Edition this week.
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Topics: Debt, Mindset | 7 Comments »
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I actually do agree with this. I have found this to be true in other areas of my life as well, unfortunately.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
@Sarah – Thanks for chiming in!
I was just at your blog today… I have some questions for you. Maybe I can send them to you by email to turn into a blog post?
July 24th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I think you’re totally right. People want to hear about the misery of others – I’ve even had someone say on another journal site that they won’t read the journals of people who are happy and content because it’s so boring to them.
Not to mention – just look at the nightly news. How much happy stuff do you ever get to see?
July 24th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
@Kris – Great points. So maybe we need to discover a way of making happy news exciting… instead of boring.
Hmmm… Something to think about.
Or maybe it’s simply being “real” about your life, even if you are happy and things are going well.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I see more comments when people pay something totally off. I think part of the problem is that until you are totally debt free it is so easy to “get back into that trap” that people want you not to lose sight of the brass ring.
Yes we should compliment more but I think that goes with our children also. We correct much more than we praise.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:05 am
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August 28th, 2008 at 11:01 am
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